Sunday, May 22, 2011

Double Speak Sparkle


Recently, Sen Jon Kyl (R-Ariz) took to the senate floor and told his colleagues a number of untruths about Planned Parenhood. When these were called into question, his spokesperson defended them with the statement that the remarks "were not intended as a factual statement."




7 comments:

ColleenQ said...

I try that nonfactual thing all the time. So did Stephen Colbert:

:It was a remark seemingly made for late-night TV comics: Sen. Jon Kyl's claim that abortion is "well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does."

When the actual figure turned out to be 3%, his office released a statement clarifying that Kyl's figure was "not intended to be a factual statement."

Watch Sen. Jon Kyl's statement about Planned Parenthood

Enter Stephen Colbert. The Comedy Central host lampooned the line on last night's show... but it turns out he was just getting started.

Colbert, tweeting as @StephenAtHome, began posting some not-so-factual statements about Kyl, beginning with "Jon Kyl is one of Gaddafi's sexy female ninja guards #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement." Since then, he's launched more than 30 such broadsides, all bearing that exculpatory hashtag, including:

Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii.
For the past 10 years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit.
Jon Kyl cheated on Sandra Bullock.
Once a year, Jon Kyl retreats to the Arizona desert and deposits 2 million egg sacs under the sand.
Citing religious reasons, Jon Kyl refuses to utter the number 8.
Jon Kyl once ate a badger he hit with his car.
Carly Simon wrote that song about Jon Kyl.
Legally, Jon Kyl cannot be within 100 yards of Helen Mirren.
Jon Kyl has a shrine to Scooter from the Muppet Show.
Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies.
Jon Kyl was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner.

ColleenQ said...

The video clip was WAY funnier!

Tony said...

Colleen; I never saw the video clip, but when this statement is added to Newt Gingrich's statements, it would be like the world fair for comics. George Orwell must be smiling.
Glad you're paying attention.

LQ said...

I can't say enough how much I loved that statement. I am trying to explain myself with "not intended to be a factual statement" more often.

Tony said...

LQ: Ron Neison, Nixon's press secretary, covered his bosses falsehoods with a good one too. "That was an inoperative statement."

Anonymous said...

What would be the state of comedy in this country without politicians? D

Tony said...

D: The really funny thing to me is that I believe they take themselves seriously.